one minute with you

Is so much better than two without you.

     Living in Idaho I was blessed to meet the people that I have met. I can easily say they have all changed my life, I will always cherish them. Yet living with all of these great people just reminded me how important the people I already had in my life were. When I was 16 years old my family slowly started leaving me. It was really quite rude now that I think about it. Brandie and Andrew moved to Reno before but I still had everyone else so the hugeness of that didn't really set in. Luckily they both came back and I never had to watch them move away again. Christie went to Idaho and ended up married and living in Florida. I'm pretty sure I ruined her wedding video because I'm standing there crying like a baby watching her join a life with Adam and all I could think was 'why are you leaving me too' . Poor Adam had to deal with me coming to visit every summer because I just couldn't let her go. Then Buddy goes and joins the Air force leaving all of us completely destroyed because when he left he took his sweet spirit and the impact it had on all of us daily. He never realized it but him leaving was harder on our family than I think anything else. He was our glue (;

     Tayler Nicole thought it was cool to move to St. Geezy and make me lose my best friend since 5th grade. Kelsey went to Provo for school likes it important or something. Ricky went on a mission for two years to stinking Denmark and Caitlin may not have left but she just kept having babies and making her life way to busy for me to be the center of attention anymore. (rude)  My amazing parents were all crazy busy and I was too stubborn to realize just how much I loved and needed them. The Burleys moved to Alabama and when you take all these people away I was pretty much on my own.  SO, I moved away too, and I became the traitor that abandons everyone. I've been gone for over two years and by the time I move home it will be almost three.
thinking about how much it effected me to have all these people I love away from me makes me laugh. I'm still so dead set against people leaving me, yet my two best friends haven't had me in Vegas for over two years, and they never tell me not to chase my dreams. Travis met me 3 months before I left and I am so grateful that we decided to stay in contact and grow a friendship that I depended on EVERYDAY. He is the person that i tell everything to, even the stuff that makes me so uncomfortable he just laughs in my face. He's my best, i don't know why, or how but he really is. I'm pretty lucky to have him for a friend. Then there is Hayli and she needs me more than I ever thought a person would. I realize all the people that I depend on so heavily depend on me right back, Hayli tells me almost everyday now how much I need to come home and that I'm never allowed to leave again. She says she ready to have her best friend living close again and to be honest I am too.

      I'm so ready to have these people back in my life on a daily/semi-daily basis. MY FAMILY will finally be within a few minutes of me everyday, I can see them anytime I choose and never have to feel homesick because home will be right down the street instead of 10 hours down the interstate. MY friends will be there when I'm sitting home alone on a Saturday night and wishing I had someone to talk to. (with the exception of Tayler Wright who will be a little over an hour away, still closer than 9 hours right?)  I'll be able to see them in person rather than trying to picture them when I'm on the phone with them. My siblings will grow up knowing me again, instead of just knowing a voice over the phone. I'll be able to see Regan's dance recital for the first time and watch Matthew play sports and piano. I'll go to field days and I'll see them change everyday. I was so ready to leave my 'hometown' I didn't even hesitate. I made the plans and I started my adventure. But what I didn't realize was I will never be ready to leave my family and those friends that over the years have become family.

     I'm grateful I left, I was able to grow up, and while growing up I was able to mend fences and un burn all my bridges.I know when I go back that my life will run more smoothly than it ever has. I know that my family and I will finally get along because I no longer think I'm so different than them. I know that my friends and I will make tons of new memories and that I'll make new friends and new people will come into my life there just like they have here. But hopefully I won't be leaving them anytime soon, or even if I do I know that I have people that will ALWAYS be apart of my life so it's okay if the others do leave, or if I leave them. I'm so happy with life it's silly, I never thought that working 13 hours a day and going to the gym every night, simply to get up and do it all again the next day, would ever be the thing that made me completely happy in life. Yet it has, I know what I want now and I know how to get it. I'm so ready for these next 84 days to go by, so that I can move into the next stage of life. IT JUST NEEDS TO HURRY UP AND GET HERE!

if you're gonne be somebody's heartbreak...

"if you're gonna be somebodys heartbreak, if you're gonna be somebodys mistake. if you're gonna be somebodys first time, somebodys last time, baby be mine. if you're looking to be somebodys just friend a little laugh a little love and never calling again, that's just fine. if you're gonna be somebodys heartbreak be mine."  -hunter hayes, somebody's heartbreak

I really can't explain to you how much I enjoy this song.

So maybe I'm living life the wrong way, but at least I'm living life..

       Here I am laying in bed at 11 o'clock on a Sunday night remembering all of the life changing adventures I've taken this past year and a half I've lived in Rexburg. While I remember and relive all those moments I can't help but smile.... I've been "all over the map" so to speak, my adventures are exactly that, they are crazy and random and new and exciting, sometimes they are terrifying and I can't believe I was the one partaking in them. Some were stupid all of them reckless and when I try to imagine doing something different it just never seems to fit. Even the ones I'm too ashamed to talk about, they are all so important I was meant to live my life this way. I just know it.  
           If you have ever been in my apartment or looked through my binder at school, my notes on my phone, computer or even my Facebook; if you know me at all you know that I'm crazy about quotes. If it's even the slightest bit relevant to my life I fall in love with it. I'm convinced 90% of country songs were written just for me and that the cute sayings on pinterest can all be applied to some point or other in my life. I'm sure I'm not that important and my life isn't that exciting or romantic, happy or even depressing. I'm sure everyone at some point or another feels exactly the same way about the same quotes and somehow it just makes us all human. But to me the quotes are personal, each and everyone of them. So here I am laying in bed at 11 o'clock on a Sunday night remembering all of the life changing adventures I've taken in the past year and a half I've lived in Rexburg, and I decided I needed to find some new quotes to try and explain just how much I truly love my life. And maybe how I plan to love the years to come.

    1. "As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someones hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back"
    2. "It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives."
    3. "It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone-but it takes a lifetime to forget someone."
    4. "Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth, even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright"
    5.  "Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be. Because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do"
    6. "The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything they just make the most of everything that comes along their way."
    7. "Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying."
    8. "I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry."
    9. "Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't."- Erica Jong
    10. "You've got to take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what you've got, and remember what you had. Always forgive, but never forget. Learn from mistakes, but never regret"
     
       The person I am today compared to the one I was yesterday even the one I will be tomorrow they are all different. They have all grown. from one to another I'm learning about life and discovering what I want, what makes me happy, and how determined I am to get just where it is I am meant to be. In 58 days I turn 21, I graduate from school in 40, My last day of school is in 74, and I pack everything up and move back to Vegas in 100. After this I'll start new count downs and I'll make new memories but somehow I know they won't be quite as life changing or impacting as my time living away from home. I'm always told the things I'm doing today I will never be able to do again, don't be in a hurry to grow up, enjoy being single and my time discovering myself. I think I'm doing a pretty good job of things so far. I can't wait to keep doing it.  <3